Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
