margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to make a zoo with you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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