There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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