Define "chronic" masturbator.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
