You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
