Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
