you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
