I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize