have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
