sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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