4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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