Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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