Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
