Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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