dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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