everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
