His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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