I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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