well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
