I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
