hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
