One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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