I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
