there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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