first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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