It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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