Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
