wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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