PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
