Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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