therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found puke in my bra..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
