For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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