She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
