New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
