Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
please don't ironically join a cult
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