spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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