remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
