so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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