was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
