Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
