How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
