he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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