Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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