Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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