he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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