when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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