dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
