How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
