NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
