He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
