He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
