i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
