i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
