I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
