I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
