ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
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birth control should be required to get into college
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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