So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fill condoms, not promises.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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