Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize