all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
