Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
