You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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