did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Success! We fucked roommates!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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