I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize